Why I cannot wait to see 'Machete'

With the excitement of the Melbourne International Film Festival in full swing, I’ve realised how much of my life is spent counting down the days until movies come out. Maybe it’s a little sad, but in another BETTER way (that I must force myself to believe in order to stay sane) it’s so exciting to constantly have some little titbit of Hollywood loveliness to look forward to all year round.

And I have been looking forward to this tasty morsel for a very long time.

Like many Robert Rodriguez fans, I have been eagerly anticipating the shotgun arrival of ‘Machete’ which famously was born out of a fake trailer that Rodriguez made for ‘Grindhouse’. And if the trailer is anything to go by, this blood and guts fest is not one to be missed (click here to see the R rated red band trailer- I highly recommend it, http://www.movieweb.com/news/NEKmlPKPphvjOL). Not to mention that the film hasn’t even been released yet and there’s already talk of a trilogy.

1. Danny Trejo of ‘Spy Kids’ fame is undertaking his first ever starring role as Machete Cortez, an ex Mexican Federale agent who arrives in Texas looking to escape his sordid past. But does he escape it? NO SIR! There is something about seeing the haggard faced Danny Trejo kick major Texan ass that I just find so appealing. And nobody makes Mexican-guy-seeks-revenge films like Rodriguez (FYI, apparently Rodriguez had the idea for ‘Machete’ way back in the early nineties while he was making ‘Desperado’. Now that is forward planning).

2. Not only is it tre entertaining, but ‘Machete’ is an exploitation flick with a message. After recent controversy around the tightening of immigration laws in Arizona, Rodriguez recut the movie trailer (emphasising the plight of Machete and his Mexican immigrant buddies) to protest the new legislation. Ro Rod told the Los Angeles Times “I just felt like I had to say something about it, so I cut the trailer. There’s so much grandstanding and those of us who live near a border know how unsolvable the issue really is”. So you get to see guys killing other guys AND it makes you think, like ‘A Clockwork Orange’, but really not.

3. More fake trailers! Well one fake trailer at least, by none other than Quentin Tarantino! Rumour has it that the trailer, for a film called ‘Agent Orange’, stars Tim Roth and Sacha Baron Cohen and tells the story of a British soldier in the late seventies who is attempting to restart the Vietnam War. Classic.

4. The character descriptions for this film are second to none. According to the official website, Michelle Rodriguez plays “a sexy taco truck lady with a rebellious spirit and a revolutionary heart” and Cheech Marin plays Padre “a priest who’s good with blessings, but better with a gun”. Oh and did I mention Lindsay ‘Disaster’ Lohan is in it? And that she’s a “nun with a gun”?

5. Last, but definitely not least, the reason I am looking forward to ‘Machete’ is......

BAD ASS DE NIRO!