Being a young woman of a certain nostalgic disposition, I am a great admirer of  John Hughes. This director/writer/ producer not only revolutionised the teen movie in a post gross out Porky’s landscape, but also introduced us to the eternally sweet Molly Ringwald and impossibly cute Macaulay Culkin.

Although Ringwald has been reduced to appearing in Not another Teen Movie and lil’ Macaulay was recently arrested for drug possession  and kind of looks like a suspect on ‘Crime Stoppers’, there is no denying that if Hughes gave you the thumbs up in the 1980s you were totally in with the Hollywood It crowd.

 

(Charlie Sheen back when he was cool.)


However despite Hughes’ films appearing as playful romps infused with smatterings of teen angst (a Ringwald classic- “I hate having to go along with everything my friends say!”), there is a darker underlying theme to these famous films. And that friends, is John Hughes’ total hatred for parents.


So sit back, put on a Simple Minds record and revisit Hughes’ most parent loathing moments.


Sixteen candles (1984)

 


Plot: John Hughes’s first smash and Ringwald’s catapult to fame, told the story of fifteen year old Sam who can’t seem to win the affections of her dreamy, dreamy crush, or shake the attention of a dweeby Anthony Michael Hall. Throw in a misplaced ‘sex quiz’, a competition to steal a pair of women’s underwear and a really politically incorrect depiction of an exchange student named Long Duk Dong, and you have a hit on your hands. Plus it features a young John Cusack, choice.


Demonic Parent Moment: Basically the catalyst for everything that happens in the film is the utter rejection that Sam feels at her parents forgetting her sixteenth birthday. Down the stairs she bounds, expecting praise and presents, however given the upcoming nuptials of her older sister, her family is completely oblivious to her existence. Not to mention that her grandparents seem to really like making jokes about how she hasn’t grown breasts yet. Bad Parent rating 6/10


The Breakfast Club (1985)


Plot: For those of you who haven’t seen The Breakfast Club STOP READING NOW AND RENT IT YOU CRAZY MOFO, and for those who need a refresher, it’s a heart warming tale of five kids, the athlete, the brain, the princess, the criminal and the basket case, during one Saturday detention. There are laughs, tears, marijuana and a dance sequence, as the children realize that they do not need to comply with the labels that society has put on them. Whoa. Plus Molly Ringwald’s clothes are super cute. The film remains so popular that in 2005 the MTV awards gave the stars an award and tribute. By the way, Yellowcard are a really bad band.


 


Demonic Parent Moment: Try as I might, I cannot find the clip on YouTube, but seasoned Hughes viewers will remember a particular scene near the end, everyone in tears, revealing how their parents a) use them to get back at each other b) ignore them c) measure their worth on athletic ability d) beat them or e) put so much pressure on their grades, that they must act out by keeping a flare gun in their locker (that bit I don’t entirely understand). As Bender puts it, “If you say you get along with your parents, you’re a liar”. Bad Parent rating 8/ 10


Pretty in Pink (1986)


 


Plot: Ringwald appears again as Andie, a poor retro chic high school student who wears Ray Bans and works in a record store, grappling with living in a one parent household and keeping her slightly manic best friend Duckie (yes, it’s the guy from Two and a Half Men) out of trouble. She falls in love with popular guy Blane, which is made obvious by the saxophone solo that comes on whenever he enters a room, however is pursued by his bitter best friend, an amazing James Spader. Drama ensues.


Demonic Parent Moment: Well it is almost immediately obvious that despite his lovable intentions, Andie’s dad is an unemployed bum who sits around the house all day and needs to be woken up and cooked for by his daughter. And her mum? She left. That’s what happens when you’re poor apparently. Bad Parent Rating 7/ 10


Uncle Buck (1989)


Plot: After making their pleading children move interstate, Bob and Cindy Russel must return home to deal with a relative’s heart attack, and leave their children under the care of cigar smoking John Candy.


Demonic Parent Moment: Um, they leave their children with this guy.  Bad Parent Rating 5/10


Home Alone (1990)


Plot: Possibly the worst of the demonic parents, Mr. And Mrs Macalister, rushing to get their flight to Paris after oversleeping, accidently leave their youngest child Kevin at home. There he fends for himself and foils the plans of two super human thieves, soon realising that he really does love his family, even that Buzz kid.


Demonic Parent Moment: Not realising your son is at home until you board a plane to Europe is not so good. And why did Kevin not hear his family leaving you wonder? Because the night before he had been sent to the attic. Because he spilt Coke on a pizza. Why children’s’ services were never called during this film I shall never know. And by the way, what kind of job did Mr. McAllister have to be able to afford to send himself and his brother’s family to Paris? Was it cheaper just to leave Kevin behind? Bad Parent Rating 8/10


Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)


 


Plot: Yup. It happened again. But this time Kevin made it to the airport, and ended up in New York instead of Florida, much to his delight. Even his parents seem to find it hilarious that they lost their child (see trailer). And why wouldn’t they! He gets to hang out with Tim Curry and Rob Schneider all day! And if you can’t trust Franken'furta with your kid, then who cans you trust?


Demonic Parent Moment: Staying in Florida while their small child was alone in New York. But hey, I guess he’s used to hanging out by himself by now. Bad Parent Rating 9 and a half/ 10