Occasionally a press release comes across my desk that piques my interest.
If the press release includes something edible, an invitation to the crowning ceremony for Miss Universe or a yellow bear-hat that I can wear on my head, I'll probably be interested.
On the other hand, if it is about new figures from the City of Yarra, statistics on bread consumption or a sample copy of Olivia Newton John's new CD, then it's probably going to hit the bin faster than you can say "aural assault".
Today I received a release from
Network Video that included their "best and worst pick-up lines from the silver screen". And this certainly got me interested.
Here are their listings for the seven worst:
"Would you like to have breakfast with me?"
"Sure, fine."
"Shall I phone you or nudge you?"
- Mary Mcdonnell and Stephen Tobolowsky
Sneakers, 1992
"You were hoping for a goodnight kiss?"
"No, you know. I’ll tell ya, I was hoping to get goodnight laid . . . "
- Matt Damon and Minnie Driver
Good Will Hunting, 1997
"You think I’m gorgeous ... you want to kiss me ... you want to hug me ... you want to love me ... you want to smooch me ... "
- Sandra Bullock to Benjamin Bratt
Miss Congeniality, 2000
"I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes."
- Nathan Fillion to Kerri Russell
Waitress, 2007
"Are you stalking me? Because that would be super."
- Ryan Reynolds to Tara Reid
Van Wilder, 2002
"I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing."
- Julia Roberts to Richard Gere
Pretty Woman, 1990
"You’re 38 and you look it."
- Aaron Eckhart to Helena Bonham Carter
Conversations With Other Women, 2005
And these were their seven best:
"You came back to this bar to see me tonight, didn’t you?"
"What if it wasn’t you I came here to see tonight?"
"Well, ya’ got lucky."
- Paul Newman and Charlotte Rampling
The Verdict, 1982
"I know what i want, because I have it in my hands right now. You."
- Gerard Butler to Hilary Swank
Ps I Love You, 2007
"Mind if i get drunk with you?"
- Clark Gable to Jean Harlow
Red Dust, 1932
"I want all of you. Forever. Every day."
- Ryan Gosling to Rachel McAdams
The Notebook, 2004
"I want to take care of you."
"Good ... ’cause I really need to be taken care of."
- Billy Bob Thornton to Halle Berry
Monster’s Ball, 2001
"Marry me, and I’ll never look at another horse."
- Groucho Marx to Margaret Dumont
A Day at the Races, 1937
"We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You ... complete me."
- Tom Cruise to Renee Zellweger
Jerry Maguire, 1996
- - - - - - - - - -
Personally, my worst would have to be Andie MacDowell in
Four Weddings and a Funeral. When she turns to Hugh Grant at the end and says in her dippy American accent, "Is it raining? I hadn't noticed," I want to crawl through the screen and give her a nipple cripple.
On the other hand (and I am fully aware that I am going to cop an enormous amount of schtick for this), I am a sucker for
When Harry Met Sally. Especially this quote from Harry:
"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
One moment while I compose myself.
Now, do any of you dashing Vine readers have anything to add to this list of best and worst?
"I AM COMING FOR YOU, MACDOWELL"