After reading the paper at the laundromat on Saturday, I whacked a frock on and went down to see the gee-gees at Caulfield. It's only up the road from chez Hick, so took no great effort from me.
It's far from my natural habitat, so I look at the whole thing with an outsider's eye. I also bring to it a long-standing family betting obsession.
Chanelling my grandfather's betting skill, I won on Viewed, enough dosh to go buy some groceries and a Sunday lunch in the DJs foodhall. Thanks for the toothpaste and bok choy, Bart Cummings, Brad Rawiller and Viewed.
No, thank you, Bart Cummings! Great aviators.
The day was far more chilled and small scale than the Flemington races. Like the Cox Plate at Moonee Valley, it's a nice easy intro to racing. You can actually get to the edge of the track, and there's no overblown carpark deal, that I saw.
The whole deal is sponsored by BMW and David Jones and they're really trying to pitch it as the classy racing event. Trouble is, we're not meant to have a class system in Australia. Plus, sick a crowd of end of semester uni students loose on a racetrack and any semblance of class is out the window as quick as you can chant "You're going home in the back of a divvy van." Yep, I heard the scrubbers yelling that one as the police were bailing some innebriate out the gates.
Woops, I tired and drunk.
I am no expert on racewear, but I'd like to share a view observations from the day:
If you are attending the races with supermodel Miranda Kerr, don't wear the same thing as her. It doesn't matter if you're a perfectly pretty normal girl. Stand next to that angel and you look like a potato.
Do take some comfortable flat shoes to change into. The smart girls I spoke to bought a cheap pair of squishy flats the same colour as their heels to slip on when their feet got too sore.
Don't wear brand new vertiginous heels. I saw a girl hobbling with the price sticker still on the sole of her cute but uncomfortable grey ankle boots. Do wear your shoes in at least a week before the race you're going to.
Ankle boots - worn in ones - are a hot option. They're more comfortable than strappy heels that make your feet look like pressed hams.
Do dress-up. So many people now are ditching the fluffy feathers in favour of a 1920s headband and the boys are mixing suits and trainers to maximum effect.
Do keep your hat on, it really helps when your friends are looking for you in the crowd.
Don't drink too much. You'll just get used in some TV news clip about our out of control drinking culture. Plus, unless it's French, it probably ain't worth drinking.
See you at Flemo!
Viewed and his Caulfield Cup.