Melbourne - 2am fight club

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

There's a simmering tension in Melbourne town at present. A few weeks ago premier John Brumby announced that in an effort to curb late night violence, from June late night venues will not allow patrons in after 2am.

Now despite this being not just a blight on that "most liveable city" tag Melbourne lauds, a knee-jerk reaction to a primordial cesspool of cockheads that cause such violence, and a questionable infringement on the average dude's civil liberties, there's a more pressing issue here. The proposed law poses some serious issues for musicians and music lovers.

Yeah I include "music lovers" because even if you don't go out in the a.m, or see much live music, much of the local music you listen to has been discussed, inspired by, conceived, influenced or prompted by countless late night get togethers, dalliances, parties, jams and recording sessions at just such venues. So for you, outer suburban teetoller, this affects YOU too. The album you're listening to now just might not've existed were it not for such activites. Then there's the whole POLICE STATE thing but I digress.

Now the government says the reason for the lockout is to try and decrease the level of violence on the streets. Call me SENSATIONALIST but is it not common knowledge that the majority of after hours violence in Melbourne occurs in the CBD, around the King St nightclub district and the Casino? You've thought that probably it won't affect you because you don't go into the city that much.

So what areas will this affect exactly? Er:

Melbourne Council
Flemington
Kensington
West Melbourne
Parkville
North Melbourne
Carlton North
Carlton
Docklands
Melbourne CBD
East Melbourne
Port Melbourne
Southbank
South Yarra
parts of Prahran.

Yarra Council
Abbotsford
Alphington
Burnley
Carlton North
Clifton Hill
Collingwood
Cresmorne
Fairfield
Fitzroy
Fitzroy North
Princes Hill
Richmond

Port Phillip Council
Albert Park
Balaclava
Elwood
Garden City
Melbourne
Middle Park
Port Melbourne
Ripponlea
South Melbourne
Southbank
St Kilda
St Kilda East
St Kilda West
Windsor

Stonnington Council
Armadale
Glen Iris
Hawksburn
Holmesglen
Kooyong
Malvern
Malvern East
Prahran
South Yarra
Toorak
Windsor

...but NOT at the Casino.

Let's take a look at that again. After 2am:

Can go: Casino

Can't go: Flemington, Kensington, West Melbourne, Parkville, North Melbourne, Carlton North, Carlton, Docklands, the Melbourne CBD, East Melbourne, Port Melbourne, Southbank, South Yarra, Prahran, Albert Park, Balaclava, Elwood, Garden City, Melbourne, Middle Park, Port Melbourne, Ripponlea, South Melbourne, Southbank, St Kilda, St Kilda East, St Kilda West, Windsor, Armadale, Glen Iris, Hawksburn, Holmesglen, Kooyong, Malvern, Malvern East, Prahran, South Yarra, Toorak, Abbotsford, Alphington, Burnley, Carlton North, Clifton Hill, Collingwood, Cresmorne, Fairfield, Fitzroy, Fitzroy North, Princes Hill and Richmond.

So when thousands of drunken patrons are ejected from premises at around 3am when most venues close, and they're not allowed entry into anywhere else, and there's nothing to do but mill around with bogans, lunkheads, bussies, musos, shift-workers, footballers, strippers, cabbies, hospitality workers and artists...oh and public transport has long ago stopped, so it's a shitfight to get a cab to go anywhere, let alone home...

"Casino?"

Opposed to the lockout? Take a look at lockoutrockout.com or melbournelockedout.com. Or tell the premier.