Suck it in, really draw it in

Oysters.  Slimy little suckers aren’t they?  Sure they’re not everyone’s cup of tea (in fact they make a terrible cup of tea, never, ever brew them) but the right freshly-plucked-from-the-sea oyster is a thing of wonder.  Variously celebrated as aphrodisiacs, pearl-mothers and a perfect slime addition your shot glass if you’re not into worms, oysters are for some just a close second on the ewww scale after brussel sprouts.

Chef Gordon Ramsay would have us think that pallets can mature.  But according to the new batch of Ladettes, Oysters ain’t never gonna be their thing.  It’s a shame, says the smarmy Ladette to Lady mansion lady trainer, ‘cos “It tells a lot about a girl if she can’t eat an Oyster.”  Judging by these chicks’ wardrobe, people doubting their swallowing prowess is the least of their worries.  Still, can’t hurt to have a little training to perfect Mistress Smarmy’s technique “You need to suck it in, really, draw it in.” she instructs.  Tease.

Check out the scene here, but be warned, if you gag easily – this ain’t for you!

Some say Oysters are an acquired taste, but as Barbara Wood quite rightly muses, doesn’t ‘acquired taste’ just come from determinably stuffing down something you hate?  That seems a little daft (don’t tell Mum we said that.  Eat your broccoli).

So, Vinelings, tell us - Oysters – high class cuisine or glorified sea-jeweller?  Can you swallow these babies?

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LouPardi

Pardi... girl

Lou Pardi is a Melbourne writer, comedian and chocolate assesor. Pardi was trained to use words by a pack of lawyers (a particularly aggressive strain of wolf) in a cave in the basement of a Sydney skyscraper. She eventually escaped to Perth, and then Melbourne where she embraced the arts and is hanging on for dear life. Pardi now applies her words liberally (like chocolate sauce) to celebrate food, chocolate, pasta, theatre, life, death and kittens. And most anything else that crosses her path.