Hi everyone. This used to be me—
Racing around the internet, running from famous person's website to famous person's website in search of satisfaction. And yet it always felt like the thing I was looking for was just out of reach.
Of course, it wasn't always like this. There used to be a time I was perfectly happy with good ol' celebrity fansites.
Fansites. Those wonderful shrines set up by besotted devotees who rocked quirky, LOTE-influenced turns of phrase, and who represented their beloved stars with a Trappist-like devotion. One of my favourite examples is
Winona-ryder.org. Its mission statement is worth pasting here in full:
Winona Online is all about respecting Winona as an actress and we do not wish to support gossip-y journalism or paparazzi photography, or anything else that might be harmful to Ms. Winona. I know that some people find it fun and amusing to see Winona walking up and down the streets and as an ordinary person, but as fans, we must learn to respect Winona’s personal feelings about that. Let’s remember that we should draw lines between what’s Winona’s public life and what is her private life.
So only pics of Winona outside TV Shows and such, where she acknowledges photographers and is seen waving and giving autographs to fans will be posted. Any pictures where Winona seems unconfortable with the photographers presence, will not be posted here.
Thank you for your comprehension.
So just to be clear, Winona-ryder.org is
not the fansite to go to if you want to look at photos like this:
Or this:
Rather, it's generally aimed more towards those who like looking at this:
And this:
Moving on. As my tastes matured and Winona made one stomach-churningly bad film after another, I found myself moving on from celebrity fansites. I realised I deserved better. After all, I'd devoted
my life to these people and I wanted something back, goddammit. I realised that what I really wanted was a website that, whether or not it was actually true, looked and felt like it might actually be administered by the celebrity
itself him or herself.
Like
Jeff Bridges's. Now
he's got a nice celebrity website. Why? Because it's packed with his own handwriting and drawings. I like that. Makes it
real. He also posts random stuff he likes, like this Beatnik Glossary:
Educational
and interesting.
Brad Pitt's website is good too—it's called "Make It Right", and it's all business. The organisation is dedicated to rebuilding New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and the site works brilliantly by making us all feel a bit crap that we're not doing more to help.
I'm pretty sure he built that house with his own hands.
I quite like
Daryl Hannah's website, too.
Barbara Streisand's.
Don't groan. You HAVE to give her a chance. Maybe you just don't know enough about her and that's why you're writhing around on the floor right now making gagging sounds and trying to suffocate yourself with your mousepad—here, read the first sentence of her modest bio. I think it'll change your mind about her:
Actress/singer/director/writer/composer/producer/designer/activist/philanthropist Barbra Streisand is the only artist ever to receive Oscar, Tony, Emmy, Grammy, Directors Guild of America, Golden Globe, National Endowment for the Arts and Peabody Awards, as well as the American Film Institute’s Lifetime Achievement Award.
See?
Now, the reasons I enjoy her website are many and varied. At first glance, I'll admit it looks like a slick record company production, and even on closer inspection, I'll admit it still looks like a slick record company production. But give it a second or two to sink in and you might just discover the many delightful little quirks that will make you feel just that little bit closer to
everyone's my favourite actress/singer/director/writer/composer/producer/designer/activist/philanthropist.
"On This Day"
Firstly, there is the "On This Day" section of the website. This has a billion fascinating facts, for example,
"On This Day in July 1983,
Barbra appears on The Today Show in the first of a 3-part interview with Gene Shalit about Yentl." I love knowing that; I just
love it.
Music
If that isn't enough, the website also has a new Babs track for your listening pleasure every single day. THAT'S A NEW TRACK EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Opinions
As you explore the site further, it's not too much of a stretch to imagine The Strize adding "op ed columnist" to her long list of job titles in the near future—after all, she often uses her website as a place to opine about current events, such as the
BP Oil Crisis.
Games
But my favourite, favourite, favourite section of this website, is the
Barbra Streisand Pixel Puzzle Game. A bit scared and not sure what that might be about, are you? Well—
"Streisand PixelPuzzle is a fast-paced game that tests your Streisand knowledge."Simple! Fun!
Fast-paced!
Here's what to do. Hit "Play without registering" and I think you will just feel it from there. Sure, you might need to have a teensy, tiny soupçon of "Streisand knowledge" up your sleeve, but you will be amazed how fun it is if you do!
I think I've made my point. So, in conclusion, now let's watch two of my favourite Babsy-Babso-Strizey-rama clips. The first one is of her and Judy-freakin'-Garland and it's gorgeously great:
The second is from
Funny Girl, and is a little tune I like to call "People". Barbra likes to call it "People", too. In fact, everyone likes to call it "People", as the name of the song is "People". And I dedicate it to every single one of you today. Because I think it's really important to remember that people who need people are lucky but that people who need celebrities are the luckiest people in the world. That's you and me. Thank you for listening.