Jason Alexander’s advertisement—I mean video invitation—for Geoffrey Edelsten and Brynne Gordon’s wedding isn’t the first time he’s spruiked questionable products to the public. He’s been doing it for a couple of decades or more now. Most recently, he’s done ads for KFC and DaimlerChrysler, but do you think I can find any of them on the internet? Of course not! Only the oldest, fuzziest, most worn-out stuff is available for our viewing enjoyment, and that’s just the footage of the groom from the Edelsten wedding!

Anyway, enough of the hilarious jokes. With Jason Alexander's recent arrival to our shores (apparently he is also performing his own show in various cities, but for a brilliant round-up of what seems to be the main purpose of his visit you should read this), I thought it might be a nice time to revisit some of the other great moments in his advertising career.

Product: Hershey’s chocolate



In this ad, Alexander is ‘David’, the jock whose Mom thinks he's just great even though he's short. It's only a very small role, but he is so good at convincing us that 'good things come in small packages' that you get the feeling he doesn't mind at all.

At this juncture I would like to stop for a moment to reinforce Wikipedia's forceful reminder to us that our Jason Alexander is: Not to be confused with Jason Allen Alexander, first husband of Britney Spears. Just in case you've been lured here under false pretences. I'd hate you to be disappointed.

Product: Potato chips


Even though I'm mildly aghast that Alexander's character here is so presumptuous as to assume we're all eating potato chips simply because we're sitting in front of the tele (I mean, how did he know?), his bubbly, stream-of-consciousness manner is still kind of alluring. I even feel frissons of excitement running contagiously up and down my spine as I watch, but I can't work out if that's because I'm excited about the product he's selling, or because my back has gone into spasms from sitting in front of YouTube watching Jason Alexander ads all day.

But I really do like the way he says the chips 'absolutely sparkle with flavour'. That's pretty creative, I think.

Product: Lipton Onion Soup


This might be the only time in Alexander's whole advertising career that we see him shed his regular uniform of a business shirt and tie for some civvies and an oven mitt. Plenty of Seinfeld-esque mannerisms such as shrugs and a sense of superiority are starting to show up in his advertisement performances from here on in, hinting at great George Costanza things to come.

But here you were thinking that Lipton was just tea!

Product: Miller Lite beer


Just two years before Seinfeld started, Alexander seemed to go backwards in his TV ad career, because despite his already extensive selling experience, for some reason he allowed himself to be cast in this non-speaking, featured extra role.

But after meditating on this controversy for days, I finally understand why he did it—as a comedic actor, he's regularly typecast as 'the funny guy', so he would have literally jumped at the chance to challenge his dramatic skills in a role such as this.

You will be gripped as he grows increasingly baffled and migraine-addled in response to the ravings of that crazy famous baseball philosopher Yogi Berra. A truly intense performance.

Product: Western Union


No idea what year this is but it seems to still be in 'The Hair Years', which makes me somewhat suspicious if you want to know the truth because Wikipedia informs me he started to lose his hair when he was 16. I WOULD FEEL VERY BETRAYED IF I DISCOVERED HE HAS BEEN DONNING SOME SORT OF TOUPEE OR HAIRPIECE FOR MOST OF HIS TV ADVERTISEMENT CAREER. As far as I’m concerned, hairpieces only ever belong on Luke Steele’s shoulders, and that’s precisely where they should stay.

Back to Jason Alexander though—his scene may all be over within ten seconds but that doesn’t mean it doesn't pack a punch. It takes great sensitivity as an actor to be able to imbue a performance with this amount of poignant, nervous fidgeting within such a short timespan.

Product: Pretzels


Did his work for fat-free Rold Gold Pretzels pre-date the famous 'These pretzels are making me thirsty' line from Seinfeld? Or was he signed on to the Rold Gold payroll specifically because he was known for popularising an awareness of the dehydrating-creating properties of those crisp knots of saltiness? This and so many questions I simply can't answer because now I'm all twisted up and confused by pretzelian adjectives of my own making and I've completely lost interest in the question.

But let’s just take a stab and say it does. Because suddenly, then he's appearing at the Super Bowl in 1995, with:

Product: More pretzels!


Apparently that dog is from Frasier. I learnt that on Wikipedia. Don’t say I don’t do my research.

Just as an aside, do you think 'It must be the pretzels!' is a catchier catchcry than 'These pretzels are making me thirsty!'? Do you even care? I'm pretty sure I don't!

Product: McDonalds


This one usually shows up as number one in 'Worst Ad Ever' lists across the globe, although I choose to interpret those lists as actually being 'Best Ads Ever' lists—I mean, just watch this and you'll see what I mean. It's an ad that is constantly being referred to, but I can't imagine ever getting sick of it!

The beauty of this ad is that it showcases Alexander’s singing and dancing skills, which won him a Tony award in 1989! His trained Broadway voice ringing out in that ecstatic, bell-like way, especially when he emphasises the final word of that controversial statement: 'Could be the best-tasting lettuce and tomayto hamburger—EVER!' just makes me feel really jubilant, despite the fact I've been vegetarian since I was four years old and have always considered McDonalds to be the devil incarnate since way before I was even born. But I guess this is what good advertising does, folks.

Thankyou, Jason Alexander, for all your hard work. There is not one product on this list that I had ever felt any interest in buying until I witnessed your idiosyncratic angle on it. And now I can't get Lipton Onion Soup out of my head.