It seems I have a penchant for
always reviewing music that really sucks. Maybe I have a latent super-power that allows the attraction of terrible music directly to my ears. On an honest level though, I'm probably just a sucker for punishment.
And punishment I did receive when a press-release for the new Nikki Webster single traipsed into my inbox this afternoon. Can you blame me? The last I heard of the Strawberry Kisses Queen was her attempt to try and become a gay-icon in 2008.
The new single, entitled "Devilicious" is a showstopper but sadly it's for all the wrong reasons.
This is dreary and fake. The chorus is unmemorable, the lyrics border on eurovision-camp for all the wrong reasons (I taste like an apple// why dont you take a bite) and I can't help but feel slightly weirded-out while watching the clip.
- The whole abandoned warehouse thing, totally 2005-2006. I understand we have budgeting issues with Australian artists, but I don't want to worry about whether the nearly naked back-up dancers are going to end up with asbestos-related poisoning years after the shoot.
- While we're talking about back up dancers, shouldn't we discuss the appropriate amount to include in your clip? Nikki Webster seems to be getting lost in a sea of pectorals throughout the video. Unacceptable.
- Finally this whole thing reminds me of another female artist who performed in an abandoned warehouse with an array of backup dancers - except this is clearly the lindsay-lohan-cocaine-remix.
Seriously, look at these lyrics:
when you look at my picture
you're going to wish that you're with us
make no doubt about that baby
maybe you're suspicious, fictitious
but I taste so delicious
everything you're gonna do I'm gonna do my way
I'd be happier not knowing how Webster tastes.