One of television nuts' great pastimes - particularly during ad breaks, toilet visits, waiting to repeat your wedding vows and other moments of non-televisual downtime - is wondering "what happened to [insert name here]?"

Every now and again we'll be blessed with a gee-whiz magazine article along those lines that offers some semblance of enlightenment.

I vividly remember one particular piece detailing not only the Blakeney Twins ("last seen chasing the big microphone in the sky" and booked as "prize-enhancers") but also a pre-Underbelly-career-renaissance Les Hill ("wiping tables in Alice Springs").

But more often than not, and particularly when the lost personality was involved in television news or current affairs, we're simply left to wonder: where are they?

Think about it: you're on daily news/current affairs for a decent stint and you are in people's faces. Not just in the way you present your half-hour's infotainment, but you're literally there, every day, at the same time (not to mention on station promos).

And then, suddenly, you're gone. Stan Grant, we hardly knew you.

So it was when the beautiful and talented Naomi Robson disappeared from our screens when she effed off from 10 years of Today Tonight back in 2006.

Here's a little trip down memory lane for those not aware of what it's like when a cyborg tries to cry:


(From the comments on that video, 'tupakshakur875' brings you a reaction that was pretty much standard across the nation: "naomi robson wearin strapon fuck anna coren ' pussy 'oooh naomi hard lickin and i wanna put though it and bumpin it oohhh yeah".)

As much as she was a complete nong there was something oddly appealing about Robson's commitment to her schoolmarm ways, something predecessor Jill "Fainting Fit" Singer and successor Anna "I Can't Think Of Anything To Call Her, She Is That Boring" Coren lacked.



If I may also briefly digress, I'd like to share with you what is probably my proudest piece of Photoshoppery, made when Peter Brock died not long after Steve Irwin (Naomi's memorialising or whom is, er, memorialised in today's Tube Ray leading image):



Anyway, aside from popping briefly into Dancing With The Stars in 2007 and a stint narrating Surf Rescue the year after, Naomi's disappearance into the pop-cultural ether was swift and comprehensive.

However now, like a Sportscraft-clad phoenix rising from the ashes of traditional media, she is back and totally 2.0 - yes, Naomi's got an internet TV show!!

You better believe it, 2010 is the year of The Naomi Show, and what a year it'll be. Naomi has amassed an embarrassment of television riches, bringing us the sage dating wisdom of storied relationship experts Pete Lazer, Nick Giannopolous and Dion Taylor.

Yes, really:



What fear, Nick? What aren't you kidding around about? Fear of failure? Fear of abandonment? Fear of ducks??

And don't forget about sex! What exactly, I'm not entirely sure, but don't forget about it! Before or after? After, maybe! Just don't forget!!

In any other context the phrase "nothing is off limits" suggests, perhaps, a no-holds-barred debate about reproductive rights, sexuality, racially-motivated violence or whether god exists, but on The Naomi Show, "today, we want answers about grooming."

And not just any grooming, grooming "down there"!

I also find the closing tag line - "Your love life, let's talk about it" - utterly hilarious, and it makes me think of this:



This "sizzle reel" is all that exists of The Naomi Show thus far, and it's mystifyingly low rent.

No amount of snazzy lens flares can hide the fact that Robson appears to have invited a small Tupperware party into her Franco Cozzo-accoutred living room to watch her discuss dating with whoever she could agree to turn up.

Lord only knows what further wonders The Naomi Show holds, but based on the breath-bating closing aside from Naomi - "Just wait until you hear what the girls have to say when we launch on February the 8th!" - I for one will be hitting F5 like a lunatic all week.