Here's one Train you don't want to miss

For the most part, people who lean back in their chairs and wheeze, disapprovingly, "I can't believe you haven't seen/watched/read that!" make my anger burn with the heat of a thousand suns.

I have long been aware, and thus, slightly touchy about the massive debt I have when it comes to certain "must see" areas of film and television; life's only so long, and one only has so much money to spend on tickets and DVDs and time, so forgive me if I haven't watched every single show in Time Magazine's 50 Greatest Television Shows In The History Of Lists, or whatever.

However, there is one show - nay, one season - I make an exception for, so here goes: if you haven't seen Big Train, season one, I feel bad for you son.

Created by Arthur Matthews and Graham Linehan (aka Mr & Mr Father Ted) in 1998 - I choose to ignore the Linehan-free 2002 revival, so forget it and move on - it remains one of the greatest comedy shows of all time, if not one of Britain's best ever.

The show also launched/consolidated the careers of Simon Pegg (Shaun Of The Dead, Spaced, Star Trek), Mark Heap (Spaced, Four Tet's Smile Around The Face video), Kevin Eldon (every good British comedy since about 1995), Julia Davis (Nighty Night) and Amelia Bullmore (Brasseye, I'm Alan Partridge).

In terms of its format and content, Big Train wasn't particularly groundbreaking - it featured the occasional song or film parody, plus recurring characters and regular sketches - but the quality of the writing (and performances) was second to none.

And, much of it was utterly deranged. Take the ongoing World Stare-Out Championship Finals:



As the BBC's retrospective puts it, "Big Train stood out not only for its variety, but also for the obvious chemistry between the cast and the notably high production values; deciding to shoot on film gave their movie parodies added punch, whether they were spoofing Hitchcock, Hollywood or French film.

Sandwiched in time between juggernauts The Fast Show and Little Britain, the same fan-base might not have boarded Big Train."

It's true: in some ways it was too smart for the Little Britain crowd, and too uncomfortable for those who found The Fast Show's daggy and good-natured skits appealing.

But for whatever reason, amongst a small slice of the population, Big Train stuck, and stuck fast.

Every family's vernacular features lines and gags from television shows picked up along the way, but I can't think of another show that has inspired the ability to 'act out' entire sketches or memorise whole episodes of dialogue.

Who knows what strange alchemy it was that saw series one create such unbelievable comedy magic, but whatever it was was clearly too good to last; by the time, four years later, a slightly remodelled cast (featuring another future star, Catherine Tate) returned sans-Linehan, the spark was gone. There were a few good sketches, but for the most part, the train - ho ho - had left the station.

I could sit here all day shouting "WATCH IT, WATCH IT", but instead I'll just let a couple of my favourite sketches do the talking.

Chairman Mao leaves his death bed to join Roxy Music on Top Of The Pops:



Sir George Martin is kidnapped by terrorists:



Goodbye Mr Chips:


But perhaps Big Train's greatest strength was their ability to take a lame comedy conceit - oh, he wants to change a hotel's name from The Ritz to The Titz! - and, at the last minute, spin it around 180 degrees and completely slay you. Just wait (around the 2:56-minute mark):




If that's not enough to make you howl with tears of laughter, well, I'm a monkey, and you can forget I ever said "I can't believe you haven't seen that".