In the annals of Tube Ray Army, I've often discussed how perplexing the nation's television habits are.

Whether it's voting the 'wrong' people in as the winners of beloved reality-talent shows like Australian Idol or Australia's Next Top Model or choosing to watch fare like Packed To The Rafters, it'd be an understatement to say I don't really understand my fellow Australians.

Packed With The Rafters isn't entirely an anomaly, though; people I know, like and respect have expressed affection for the low-key family drama. While I don't necessarily "get" it on a level that leads to ratings gold, I can at least appreciate why people like it. 

Which brings me to today's topic: how is it possible that the odious Two And A Half Men keeps hitting the bell at the top of the ratings strength-tester?

I have never met a single person who has said "oh yes, that's quite a fun show, isn't it?" The response tends to usually be more like this: "Oh my GOD, I switched to Nine last night and accidentally watched Two And A Half Men. I have never been so depressed in my life."

There are a variety of reasons the show is so deadening; not the least of which is the demonstration that this:


and this:
 

Turned into this:



I've tried. When there's nothing else on, or I'm waiting for something to start (particularly before I installed my digital set-top box), I would "give it a shot", and feel the dread creeping through my veins like morphine.

Now, I like a good, classic sitcom. I don't care if it's all done on soundstages and has a laugh track - look at The Nanny and Roseanne, two sitcoms that took the tropes of the genre to new heights (and in Roseanne's case, feminist ones, too).

No, this isn't about sitcoms: it's about a nation embracing an almost entirely unfunny, sexist, grim "comedy" about two fuckwits who impart their "knowledge" on a kid so unlikable he makes me long for the return of Matthew Krok.

And yet, there it is, sinisterly popping up in the ratings, time and time again. In the 46th week of 2009, the show was being watched by 1,456,000 Australians. There are only 22 or so million of us in the whole country, and a good deal of them are children or people without televisions!

Even Google is in cahoots; all I needed to do while searching for a suitable image for today's post was type "two " and the robots did the rest:


(How do they know I wasn't searching for "two quick and easy ways to commit cultural suicide"?)

There is no easy denouement to this blog post; I am merely sharing my rage and disappointment with you. I would also be VERY interested to hear if anyone can explain the appeal of the show to me - don't worry, I won't bite - because I've given up trying to understand it.

In an odd way, given its continued ratings success, not liking this very American slice of comedy misogyny makes me un-Australian. Work that one out.