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A comprehensive guide on how to be cool

Monday, June 30, 2008
Do not read guides on the internet which teach you how to be cool. If you are reading this, you are a failure.

I'm talking failure on the "sexually attracted to fire" level.

However! You can redeem yourself with only one easy payment! You can invest in this:



Gird thyself in the very essence of all that is Awesome!

It's even bacon scented!

Reader comments (3)

CaptainAwesome Royalty CaptainAwesome ON 30 Jun 2008 05:21:45PM Hi! I'm using the homepage to shamelessly pimp my blog. It contains information about a Tuxedo that looks AND SMELLS like it was made of bacon!

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SimoneMitchell Royalty SimoneMitchell ON 30 Jun 2008 05:30:58PM You're guaranteed to be mauled by a dog when wearing this ...

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CaptainAwesome Royalty CaptainAwesome ON 01 Jul 2008 04:03:32PM You may very well be mauled by wild animals whilst wearing this, but I can guaran-fucking-tee you that you'll be the pimpest chap in the whole ER. In fact, this needs a bacon top hat to complete the ensemble.

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CaptainAwesome - TUTA is a pointless miscellany of stuff that I like. Regular consumption of TUTA is scientifically proven to increase your level of Awesomeness to levels previously though impossible by experts. It's classified under "Sex & Relationships" as the title combines my greatest love and biggest fear.

CaptainAwesome

Turn Up The Awesome

TUTA is a pointless miscellany of stuff that I like. Regular consumption of TUTA is scientifically proven to increase your level of Awesomeness to levels previously though impossible by experts. It's classified under "Sex & Relationships" as the title combines my greatest love and biggest fear.