Due to the sheer number of Jack White side-projects going on at any given time I managed to miss completely the premiere of his wife Karen Elson's new single a few weeks ago. As there will no doubt be a further ten or so White-affiliated projects announced within the next five minutes (he produced her upcoming album) I'll hurry up and attempt to put "The Ghost Who Walks" into some kind of model-turned-singer perspective.

The catwalk that leads from celebrated (yet silent) muse to vocal artiste is a rocky one, littered with the bony carcasses of those brave women who have dared to display a talent beyond looking fierce. For her part, British beauty Elson was known for her red hair before she married the one-time White Hype. Surely she can't have red hair and hold a note... can she?

Being a canny Northern lass, Elson has pulled out the heavy artillery to ward off any scepticism in the form of her authenticity-minded husband. But will it be enough? Let history be our guide...
 


Twiggy

The original waif, and face of the sixties, Twiggy sashayed into the Seventies with a couple of albums. The first - Twiggy - gave her a Top 20 hit with "Here I Go Again" but the second was only memorable for its genius title - Please Get My Name Right.  In '79 she moved to LA and recorded an album produced by Donna Summer (along with Giorgio Moroder's sound engineer) but then shelved it (until 2007, when we all ignored it away). Not a great omen for Elson perhaps, but she'll always have her walk...





Irina Lazareanu

She was engaged to Pete(r) Doherty, a muse to Karl Lagerfeld and a judge on Canada's Next Top Model, but it wasn't enough. As her musical collaborator Sean Lennon describes her, "The way models spew their lunch, she spews brilliance." Decide for yourself in this clip as they provide the live soundtrack to a Chanel show for Lagerfeld in 2008...





Kate Moss

The Nineties British waif was also involved with Doherty but, despite a few guest vocals and friendships with, apparently, most of music royalty, she hasn't desperately sought respect as a singer. We wouldn't want her to become overexposed now, would we? Still, this whispery appearance on Primal Scream's 2003 version of "Some Velvet Morning" wasn't half bad as it didn't exactly stretch her size-zero voice...





Karen Mulder

In the early Nineties this Dutch beauty was sharing catwalks with Naomi Campbell and Cindy Crawford and being photographed by the likes of Bruce Weber and Steven Meisel. Italian Vogue even dedicated a whole issue to her and Hasbro produced a Karen Mulder doll. Sadly, by 2001 the dream had turned to dust and while on a French TV chat show she accused model agency execs, and Prince Albert of Monaco, of having tried to rape her. A five-month stay in a psychiatric hospital quickly followed but Mulder came out singing with a defiant, if possibly ill-advised, cover of Gloria Gaynor's "I Am What I Am". The French public bought a few copies (you can always count on the French) but later that year she attempted suicide and fell into a coma. In 2007 things looked on the up again with a catwalk appearance for Dior alongside the original Nineties supermodels, but last year she was reportedly arrested for threatening to attack her plastic surgeon. Sounds like she has a book in her at least...





Marcus Schenkenberg

It's not only the girls who need to be heard. Who could forget Tyrese and his slow-jams? But in 2000 the Nineties' "male-supermodel" Marcus Schenkenberg attempted to ape Ricky Martin, only minus the ability to move. After a killer opening lyric ("This song is about a chick I met in Spain. She say yes, I say no.") it all went south, despite the valiant efforts of the wind machine hiding under Schenkenberg's fringe...

 




Tyra Banks

She was 1997's VH1 Supermodel of the Year, the first African American covergirl on Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and she conquered television with America's Next Top Model and The Tyra Banks Show. But when it came to music she fell on her shapely ass. Her Rodney Jerkins-produced single "Shake Ya Body" flopped badly despite shameless promotion on ANTM. Even a rap single by American sports icon Kobe Bryant couldn't bring her chart success. Bad things come in threes but surely we've suffered enough...





Katie Price

Britain's busty "glamour" model (i.e. tits out for the lads) has successfully branched out into all manner of cross-promotional business opportunities from bestselling novels to TV shows and branded beauty products. But after a failed stab at Eurovision (she competed in the heats program - heavily pregnant) and a collaboration with then-hubby Peter Andre, it looks like music was the one thing she couldn't sell...






Nick Kamen

In 1985 this hitherto little-known model leapt to (European) stardom by stripping to his boxers in a hugely successful Levi's jeans commercial. His charms did not go unnoticed by Madonna and the following year he was the envy of model-turned-singer wannabes everywhere by releasing a debut single written by the dream-duo (Stephen Bray / Madonna) behind pop classics such as "Into the Groove", "Express Yourself" and "True Blue". "Each Time You Break My Heart", featuring backing vocals from Her Madgesty herself, stalled at No. 5 in the British charts but mainland Europe liked him enough to inspire five albums and a self-penned 1990 single ("I Promise Myself") that would later get covered by, er, Dead or Alive, A*Teens and Basshunter. When Elson reaches album number five and gets covered by Basshunter she can look down her pretty nose at this, but until then...






Naomi Campbell

She had learned from the best (Vanilla Ice) on "Cool as Ice" in 1991 but a solo music career gave her the cold shoulder in 1995 when she dropped the turkey "Love and Tears". Liberal use of sepia and nipples were not enough to sell this anywhere other than Japan. "Big in Japan" is still better than "Big in Germany" though, so let's call it a draw and forget this ever happened...





Work It: Grace Jones, Grace Slick, Nico, Rupaul.

Work On It: Milla Jovovich, Carla Bruni, Agyness Deyn.


WARNING: Look out for Janice Dickinson's debut single "Crazy" later this year, of which she says, "Y’know after all these years, I just wanted to give something back to all the wonderful gays that have helped me in this life [the proceeds will go to an AIDS charity - you know, cos it's a gay disease]. I mean HELLO, I’m 55 years old and I wouldn’t look like this if it weren’t for the gays."

And... purge.